A.C. Green Youth Foundation

20 years since Magic's announcement

2011-11-07T18:35:00.000-08:00

Today, Time looked back at November 7, 1991, when Magic Johnson told the world he had HIV. But first, he told his teammates. In the article, A.C. Green reflects on that moment.

Read the story here: http://www.time.com/time/nation/article/0,8599,2098685-1,00.html

A.C. Green is on Twitter

2011-10-19T07:44:00.000-07:00

The NBA Ironman has joined Twitter! Follow him at @NBA_Ironman or click here: http://twitter.com/nba_ironman

A.C.'s favorite Laker dunks

2011-05-15T05:14:00.001-07:00

The season may be over for the Lakers, but NBA Iron Man A.C. Green took a moment to share his favorite dunks of the year while serving as a judge at the NBA/Sprite Los Angeles Amateur Dunk contests at the Universal City Walk on Saturday.

Check out his favorites here.

LA Times - Laker moments

2011-05-11T11:59:00.000-07:00

The LA Times recently printed this blast-from-the-past picture of NBA Iron Man A.C. Green, sharing a few snippets about his iron will to compete, as well as his equally strong commitment to abstinence. Check out the story here.

A.C. Green teams up with "No Kid Hungry" Initiative

2011-03-24T05:17:00.000-07:00

A new program called "No Kid Hungry" is adding breakfast to the school curriculum.

In L.A. County, more than 300,000 students who eat free or reduced-price school lunches don't eat school breakfasts, according to the California Food Policy Advocates. To make sure students don't start the day hungry, No Kid Hungry, with funding from the Wal-Mart Foundation, intends to help childcare centers and schools make better use of funds already available. The goal is to increase participation in school breakfast programs by 10% the first year. NBA Iron Man A.C. Green is on board with the project, along with U.S. Secretary of Agriculture Tom Vilsack, Mayor Antonio Villaraigosa, Food Network celebrity Guy Fieri, and Oscar-winning actor Jeff Bridges, as well as nonprofit and community leaders.

Read the full story here: http://www.latimes.com/features/food/la-fo-breakfast-20110324,0,1687822.story

A.C. talks basketball

2011-02-27T17:14:00.000-08:00

Right before the All-Star break, we sat down with A.C. and asked him which teams we might expect to see in the NBA Finals. Check out his answer in the video.

A.C. Green and Bieber-fever

2011-02-19T10:37:00.001-08:00

Joe Murphy/NBAE via Getty Images

A.C. Green stepped on the court with Justin Bieber for the NBA All-Star celebrity game on Friday night in Los Angeles.

Bieber, who won the game MVP award, had eight points, four assists and two rebounds for the West team, which lost 54-49 to the East. A.C. Green was the recipient of one of those assists, scoring the game's first basket on a pass from the teen sensation.

So does A.C. Green have Bieber-fever?

"He knew to find me with the ball, so obviously Justin has good instincts on the court," joked A.C. "I don't know that I'm going to pull up iTunes and download his music, but I definitely appreciate his talent as a performer and I'm pretty sure my nieces are fans."

Read more about the game here.

A.C. in Tennessee

2011-02-08T22:10:00.000-08:00

Watch this video message from A.C. Green.

Also, check back next week for A.C.'s thoughts on the NBA Season and who might go to the Finals.

A.C. Green Participating in "Got Milk?" Campaign to Honor Deserving Coach

2010-09-28T12:29:00.000-07:00

USAB Legend A.C. Green In Lancaster, CA to Recognize Coach Marcus Williams for Instilling Positive Post-Exercise Nutrition Habits Among His Student Athletes

WHAT: A.C. Green will visit Antelope Valley High School, on September 30, 2010 to host a school rally to honor Coach Marcus Williams for his outstanding efforts in teaching student athletes about the benefits of post-exercise nutrition. Coach Marcus Williams will be presented with a Refuel Grant worth $1,000 to help further efforts at Antelope Valley High School to teach the benefits of exercise and nutrition.

The Refuel Grant program, sponsored by the “got milk?” Campaign, recognizes coaches who’ve changed their team’s recovery game plan to include lowfat chocolate milk to help give teen athletes the competitive edge. From September through November 2010, coaches, teachers, students and parents can visit http://www.bodybymilk.com/ to nominate secondary schools that refuel their athletes with chocolate milk for a chance to receive one of ten $1,000 Refuel Grants.

WHY: When it comes to performing at the highest level, an athlete's post-game recovery routine is just as important as their pre-game prep. Experts suggest there's a two-hour recovery window after a game or workout—the best time to refuel and rehydrate your body to keep it in top shape and help you get back in the game. Lowfat chocolate milk contains a mix of carbs and protein to refuel and repair muscles, fluids to rehydrate and electrolytes, including calcium, potassium and magnesium, to replenish what is lost in sweat and has the added bonus of bone-building nutrients like calcium.

WHERE: Antelope Valley High School
44900 Division St
Lancaster, CA 93535
*Please report to the main office upon arrival at the school.

WHEN: September 30, 2010, 10:45 a.m. – 11:45 a.m.

FOR MORE INFORMATION: For more information, log on to bodybymilk.com

Media Inquiries Contact: Anna Hellgeth, ahellgeth@webershandwick.com, Direct: 312-988-2083, Cell: 847-927-5767

Los Angeles Mayor, Magic Johnson, A.C. Green and Michael Cooper Support Boys & Girls Clubs

2010-06-16T15:50:00.000-07:00

Mayor and Lakers Legends Encourage All Angelenos to "Support LA On and Off the Court" by Contributing to Boys & Girls Clubs Mobile Text and Online Giving Challenge
June 15,2010

Mayor Villaraigosa was joined today by NBA legend, businessman and philanthropist Earvin “Magic” Johnson at a pep rally in support of the Boys & Girls Clubs Los Angeles Alliance fundraising challenge. The Mayor and Mr. Johnson were also joined by iconic former Los Angeles “Showtime” Lakers, Michael Cooper and A.C. Green. All are Boys & Girls Club alumni, having participated as youths. The Boys & Girls Clubs Los Angeles Alliance is currently engaged in a friendly fundraising competition to see who can raise the most "smiles and support" for their local clubs. This competition coincides with the NBA Finals, as the Los Angeles Lakers and Boston Celtics vie for the national championship this week.

Read the full story here: http://www.mayor.lacity.org/PressRoom/PressReleases/LACITYP_010527

Lakers v. Suns - AC's reaction

2010-05-28T12:35:00.001-07:00

A.C. attended last nights Lakers / Suns playoff game and called in with his thoughts after the dramatic finish! Check it out below.

Having trouble with the flash player? Then download A.C.'s message here.

A.C. Green's trip to India

2010-04-30T10:40:00.000-07:00

A.C. Green just got back from a trip to India, where he was working with the NBA to bring a 6-week clinic to the country. Nearly 1,000 youth are participating in this unique program.

Read more here: Basketball great AC Green launches NBA Challenge in Mumbai

Last night's Laker game

2010-04-28T19:02:00.000-07:00

Listen to A.C.'s thoughts on the game last night...he was in attendance and the Staples Center was going crazy!

Having trouble with the flash player? Then download A.C.'s message here.

The hooking up culture isn't all it is cracked up to be

2010-04-20T13:26:00.000-07:00

Some college students are realizing the "hooking up" culture at some schools just isn't worth it, according to a recent article on CNN.com.

"I saw it [hooking up] as a way to be recognized and get satisfaction," said student Frannie Boyle. "I felt so empty then."

And now?

"I'm respecting myself," Boyle said confidently one sunny morning before class. "And I won't waste my time with some guy who doesn't care about me."

Read the full article here: No hooking up, no sex for some coeds

Here's another story about why hooking up isn't for you.

A.C. talks about the NBA Playoffs

2010-04-12T09:48:00.000-07:00

Listen to A.C.'s thoughts on the upcoming NBA Playoffs:

Having trouble with the flash player? Then download A.C.'s message here.

Update from AC on the Foundation's work in schools

2010-04-02T10:11:00.000-07:00

We caught up with A.C. and asked him what the Foundation was up to. Check out his answer here:

Check back next week for A.C.'s predictions on the NBA Playoffs. In the meantime, click here to learn how you can support the Foundation's work!

Having trouble with the flash player? Then download A.C.'s message here.

Update from AC - and an article for you!

2010-01-22T15:14:00.001-08:00

Listen to the message from AC here.

Read A.C.'s article on finding a leader here.

Having trouble with the flash player? Then download A.C.'s message here.

Audio from AC!

2010-01-07T17:04:00.000-08:00

Listen to the message from AC here.

Having trouble with the flash player? Then download A.C.'s message here.

Tiger Woods, meet A.C. Green

2009-12-10T08:36:00.001-08:00

Interesting article from the LA Times today:

Tiger Woods, meet A.C. Green
By Chris Erskine
December 10, 2009

More amazing than reports of the golfer's transgressions is how the Lakers' forward kept to his personal code during the 'Showtime' years.

Read the full article here: http://www.latimes.com/sports/la-sp-erskine10-2009dec10,0,3005308.column

MacMall cares about the youth of this nation!

2009-11-30T13:35:00.000-08:00

Greetings! We trust you had a great Thanksgiving. We wanted to share some great news we are thankful for at the A.C. Green Youth Foundation.

The Foundation is anxious to make better use of available technology to stay in touch with the youth we serve, through podcasts, videos, and more. When we told MacMall about this Online Initiative and presented an opportunity to partner with the us, they jumped at the chance.

MacMall donated a MacBook Pro to support our efforts, making it possible for A.C. Green to connect with the youth the Foundation serves, whether he's at home or on the go... you'll be in the know!

But we aren't done yet - we are looking for one more Company that Cares to jump on board with a donation of one more MacBook Pro, allowing our staff to seemlessly coordinate with A.C. Green and you. (Incidentally, if you know of a company that would like to help us with this goal - contact us here: http://www.acgreen.com/contactus.)

Thanks again to MacMall - and thank you for your continued support. Together we can make a difference in this nation's future...today!
to help!

A.C. Green speaks in Oregon

2009-11-23T16:44:00.000-08:00

A.C. Green was the featured speaker at a dinner in Oregon this past weekend, benefiting the Mid-Willamette Family YMCA. To promote the event, Albany Democrat-Herald ran a story about A.C. and the Foundation. Below are a couple excerpts:

Green's playing days are over, but his commitment to the message of abstinence, which he lived out until his marriage in 2002, is still going strong.
"Once [my teammates] spent time with me they realized I was real about [my abstinence] and that I was committed to it," Green said. "It was something I lived out, didn't just talk about. It was something they came to understand in a real way."

Read the full article here.

STDs on the rise...

2009-11-17T05:57:00.000-08:00

According to the CDC, sexually transmitted diseases like chlamydia, gonorrhea and syphilis continue to spread in the United States.

"We have among the highest rates of STDs of any developed country in the world," said John Douglas, director of the division of sexually transmitted diseases at the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. (original article located here.)

Some are proposing that more "safe sex" education is the answer. However, the only real "safe sex" is abstinence til marriage. Check out these links to learn more:

A.C. Green at the ring ceremony

2009-10-28T07:44:00.001-07:00

Kobe Bryant is greeted by former Lakers Michael Cooper, center, Magic Johnson and A.C. Green after receiving his championship ring at the Staples Center on Tuesday night. (Wally Skalij / Los Angeles Times / October 27, 2009) (Photo originally posted at http://www.latimes.com/sports/la-sp-plaschke-lakers28-2009oct28,0,7152736.column.)

Ringing in the NBA season

2009-10-28T06:20:00.001-07:00

A.C. Green helped the Los Angeles Lakers "ring" in the new season, as he attended the Lakers' Championship Ring Ceremony and first game of the season.

AC Green "flair"

2009-09-01T14:43:00.000-07:00

Are you on Facebook? If so, be sure to add the AC Green "flair" to your page.

Finding a leader

2009-07-18T10:25:00.000-07:00

by A.C. Green

Peer Pressure
So much of high school is about growing. Growing physically…mentally…emotionally. I was 5’10” when I walked in the doors of Benson High School for the first time and 6’8-1/2” when I left! But I went through even more changes as a person.

Decisions I made in high school helped shape who I am today. Many of these decisions had to be made in the face of peer pressure. Peer pressure had the potential to be a powerful force when I was in high school. It still does, for both me and you. It’s true that peer pressure is very strong in high school, but it doesn’t end there. Throughout your life there will be people around you who want you to do what they do. Even in the NBA, I faced peer pressure. It’s a battle to do the right thing; it’s easy to do the wrong thing. But here’s the secret. Peer pressure is outside elements that you allow inside. Once they get inside they expand, almost like they explode in you. Something that is very small and insignificant can grow into a big obstacle if you allow it in your mind. So don’t. If you don’t allow it inside, it will not become a big force. The way you respond to peer pressure will determine the person you become.

Finding a Leader
A defining moment in my life happened when I was a skinny 15-year-old sophomore. I had just finished a morning basketball game and was leaving the gym when I felt a hand on my shoulder. It was Dick Gray, the varsity basketball coach. And not just any basketball coach. At that time, Dick Gray was the winningest all-time high school basketball coach in Oregon’s history – meeting him was like meeting a legend. “You stick with it. You might have some potential,” he said.

With those words, I had found a leader. There was someone I wanted to follow. A positive role model who could help me achieve my goals. Peers don’t make good leaders. You can follow your peers, or you can follow a leader. Peers have a different agenda than a leader. Here’s an example: If my teammates and I only looked to each other in the NBA, we would not achieve the same measure of success as we did with a coach. The coach has a different perspective than the players and tends to have more experience and knowledge behind his decisions. Also, they are more likely to be motivated by what is best for the team, not just individuals. Remember this as you look for a trustworthy person who is reaching their goals.

Coach Gray came into my life at a crucial time. I was impressionable and hungry for direction. The advice he gave was sure to carry a great deal of weight. That’s why it’s so important to choose leaders wisely. Fortunately, Coach Gray was a great leader. He challenged me to reach my potential. Coasting in the classroom was not acceptable. Embracing mediocrity was not an option. Coach Gray affirmed the value of discipline and hard work.

I will say this again, as you look for a leader, it’s important that you find a trustworthy person with a track record of success. If you can’t find someone right now, it’s okay. Wait. Be patient, don’t settle. Also, know what goals you want to achieve. Look for a leader that will help you develop the strengths you need to achieve that goal. This doesn’t mean that aspiring athletes need a coach to be their leader. A truly great leader will teach you discipline and decision-making skills that will carry over into all areas of your life. You don’t want to grow up one-dimensional.

How do I say "no"?

2009-06-11T13:53:00.000-07:00

I know I want to be abstinent, but what are some good ways to say "no" if someone pressures me?

Denise, age 16

Denise,

First of all, that's great that you are committed to abstinence until marriage! There may come a time when someone pressures you; but remember, you don't owe sex to anyone. There are a lot of great ways to say no: explain that you aren't ready to be a parent, or you don't want to worry about STDs. Or even point out that you care about your future husband too much to put him at risk. The most important thing is - stay true to yourself and remember that the decisions you make today will directly impact your tomorrow.

Also, check out some great reasons to wait.

Today's hero

2009-05-24T17:28:00.000-07:00

by A.C. Green

The past week has been a very difficult transition in life, but also one that has revealed some important lessons.

On May 15, I received a phone call informing me that my close friend, Wayman Tisdale, had passed away. Because I am a firm believer in divine order as well as timing, I accept the fact that it was God’s time for Wayman to come home. But even though I don’t question why this happened, I of course am deeply saddened that it did.

Wayman leaves a legacy of a real man. First and foremost, he was a man who wasn’t afraid to honor the love of his life – Regina – the woman he had loved since the age of 16. He honored her in any public setting he found himself, whether she was present or not. He was also a father of four, and a tremendous example of what fatherhood should be like. He was flat-out crazy over his daughters, Tiffany, Danielle, and Gabrielle, and his son, Bubba. He was also blessed and smitten by his first grandchild – Bailey. At the age of two, she had him 100% wrapped around her finger.

At the tribute ceremony for Wayman at the BOK Center in Tulsa, Wayman’s life was celebrated as thousands gathered to pay their respects and show their love. He truly received the royalty treatment. I was honored to read the opening Old Testament Scripture. Wayman was truly infected by the joy of the Lord, and that infection affected everyone that he came into contact with. It was evident in how he lived his life.

Then there was his music: His joy came through loud and clear through his music. And many of his friends from the music industry – Toby Keith, Dave Koz, Arthur Thompson, Marcus Miller, Tom Braxton, Fred Hammond, and Jonathan Butler were just of few of those who offered their tributes to Wayman. His band – the Wayman Tisdale Band – played some of his favorite songs.

As we drove to the burial site, there were people outside clapping and waving in his honor. The streets were blocked by the Tulsa Police Department. The Mayor of Tulsa even spoke, sharing how she too was affected by his joy, his smile, and his laughter. If it’s true that what is in your heart will come out of your mouth, then Wayman had to be one of the happiest men ever created. As we celebrated Wayman’s life, I reflected on the fact that this is truly the way to leave a legacy.

The day after I heard that this wonderful man – a man whose heart is full of compassion and joy – had passed away, I had the joy of seeing my nephew Kevyn graduate from Southeastern Louisiana University. As the third Green to graduate from college (out of more than 20), it was a moment that filled me with pride. It was incredibly special for his Grandma, his brother, and even his nine-year-old nephew to witness this event. It also brought life into perspective moving from such a low to such a high. At the end of the day, you need to appreciate the time you have, and enjoy the relationships that you have. You never know how long you will have them, so rejoice in your loved ones, and in their accomplishments, big and small. Real love, true love, is sacrificial. So treasure each day, treasure each relationship, and treat others the way you want to be treated – Wayman Tisdale style.

See A.C. on TBN

2009-05-24T15:35:00.000-07:00

Monday, June 8, A.C. Green will appear worldwide on TBN (Trinity Broadcasting Network) to discuss the Foundation, basketball, and more.

Check your local listings for times and be sure to tune in.

Study shows abstinence is best

2009-05-16T09:26:00.000-07:00

News from the Abstinence Clearinghouse

A sex education researcher reported in a Congressional briefing on April 29th that when measured by the same standards of effectiveness, comprehensive sex education programs in America's classrooms do not show more evidence of success than abstinence education programs. This conclusion contradicts recent claims made by journalists and Congressional representatives.

Some more highlights:

Researches reviewed 119 studies of sex education, comprising 20 years of research by social scientists in the U.S.
They found 44% of abstinence programs had improved rates of teen abstinence, while only 36% of "comprehensive sex education" programs had improved some measure of condom use. No school-based comprehensive sex education programs were found that increased consistent condom use for more than three months.
Researchers then analyzed the programs according to what it considered to be more meaningful standards of effectiveness: 1) Did the program increase teen abstinence or consistent condom use? 2) Did this behavior change occur for the target population and not just for a subgroup of students? 3) Did the effect last at least one year, that is, from one school year to the next? Applying these criteria, they found that a higher percent of school-based abstinence programs were effective than CSE programs: 36% vs. 25%.

And remember, abstinence is 100% effective at preventing pregnancy and STDs, leaving you free to focus on your dreams and goals!

My trip to India

2009-05-14T22:16:00.000-07:00

by A.C. Green

At the beginning of April, I took a trip to Mumbai (formerly “Bombay) and Bangalore, India for NBA Cares.

What a fantastic experience! My friend from childhood, Lee Johnson got to come, which made it all the more special. It’s amazing how fast a 19-hour plane ride can go when you are with a great friend.

The first thing you need to know about Mumbai is that the city is the second most populous city in the world - approximately 14 million people. I experienced that when I first got off the plane and hit a traffic jam at baggage claim – at 1 a.m. in the morning! That served to prepare me for the next 10 days. The traffic made L.A. freeways seem like a freeway in Pocatello, Idaho.

We did four clinics during the time we were there. Basically, the goal was to train youth coaches, and to arm them with coaching tips and tools to pass on to the youth they serve. Each clinic had anywhere from 25 to about 50 in attendance and lasts for a couple hours. I was very impressed by the coaches, they have great passion for the game and were eager to learn anything that might help them equip the youth. One of the clinics was for youth (in Bangalore) – that was great fun to work directly with the kids and see them embracing the game of basketball.

I was the only former NBA player on the trip, but believe me, you couldn't tell Lee Johnson that he wasn't an NBA player by the time our trip was finished! Lee was signing autographs; giving interviews for the paper, showing off his skills on the court. You know how Kobe got such a great reception during his trip to China for the Olympics? Well, let’s put it this way: what Kobe is to China, Lee Johnson thinks he is to India!

We also got to sightsee a bit and learn more about the culture. We visited a temple – Big Bull Temple – there are some truly beautiful temples there. Our guides, Hrishi and Rajesh, were excellent – they work with a company called Global Sports. I actually have a buddy, Jonathan who works with Global Sports in India. Hrishi and Rajesh took us to the Lalbagh Botanical Gardens - it was breathtaking. Wee saw trees that were hundreds of years old, big Redwood-type trees, big enough to make a 6’9” former NBA player feel small! They also took us to some popular shopping areas and served as our “price negotiators” – I think we got some good deals!

Ah yes, the food. Indian food is extremely tasty. When you go to a restaurant, they have every traditional spice you could imagine. I break them down into three categories: (1) mild; (2) hot; and (3) I NEED WATER NOW!! Lee and I ate at a place called Indi-Joes in Bangalore - it was a smorgasbord of cultures - really great food.

I also met some good friends that work with HP and Tata Consultants (HP and Tata were the local NBA Partners for the trip). I told my new friend at HP that my nine-year-old nephew Terrence, Jr., has an HP notebook that he loves. We actually saw their computers over the All-Star weekend in Phoenix when we visited a school that HP had donated computers to; Terrence loved the computer so much that now he has one.

All in all, it was a fantastic trip. I'm looking forward to going back and hopefully conducting some more sports camps or private clinics over there. I’m not sure if Lee will come, he is busy training to make his NBA “comeback”.

All-Star Weekend

2009-04-19T10:30:00.000-07:00

by A.C. Green

In 2004, I got to attend the NBA All-Star Week in LA. It was fantastic, one of those events you just don’t think can be beat. Well, it was matched by this year’s game in Phoenix.

I spend a lot of time at my house in Phoenix, and the nice thing about having an event where you live is that you don’t have to ask everyone for directions all the time! Even better though, was the chance to bring five of my nephews to all the festivities: Kevyn, Nick, Austin, Terrence, and Lee. Funny story though – when we first got to Phoenix, the older ones wanted to go out and hit the town to do some dancing. Lee and I didn’t want to be stuck at home, so we attended the opening of Friday the 13^th. Let’s just say someone slept with all the lights on that night…and it wasn’t me.

I work with the NBA, so I also had meetings to attend with some of our sponsors, appearances to make, and I also got to participate in some great activities with NBA Cares. I visited a local elementary school with some great people from Hewitt Packard - they donated computers to the school. It was an honor to be a part of that, watching the kids learn how to use these state of the art computers, doing artwork on them, screens rotating 180 degrees… it was great. I also got to attend an event for Spalding (the official NBA ball) with a friend who works for them, Irisha.

What, you want to know about the game, the dunk contest, the 3-ball contest. Well, I can sum it up in a word: Awesome! My nephews got to meet some of their favorite players, and I got to catch up with some friends. Tell you what, my nephews were so excited that three of them had to go to the bathroom before it started, and I’m not sure that prevented “accidents” from happening during the slam dunk contest! Speaking of which, the dunk contest was crazy! We all know what it’s like watching these amazing athletes on tv, but when you are sitting just steps away…well, it gives a whole new meaning to the phrase “big screen.”

China

2009-04-17T08:47:00.000-07:00

by A.C. Green

In October, I had the opportunity to visit China with some of the NBA all-time greats for an “NBA Cares” outreach. Kareem, Rick Barry, Bob Lanier were a few of the others on the trip.

We visited several provinces, including Guangzhou, Beijing, and Shanghai. It was an awesome trip and we had a great time holding teaching clinics for youth, attending grand opening ceremonies for some youth centers, and taking place in some ground-breaking festivities with AEG (one of the leading sports and entertainment presenters in the world). Let me tell you – the kids were enamored by how tall we were!

Oh, and in case you are wondering – Kareem is still mad at me for cutting up his jeans! (What, you don’t know that story… better get my book! You can order it here.

Panama City

2009-04-15T18:45:00.000-07:00

by A.C. Green

At the end of March, I went to Panama City for a business trip. It was BEAUTIFUL, I never could have imagined it. The beachfront was absolutely stunning.

I went horseback riding with my team…the horses there have some serious spunk! I think a couple of them thought we were at the rodeo, they wanted to buck us off.

Little trivia for you: when was the city founded?

A.C. Green Youth Foundation on Facebook

2009-04-09T22:21:00.000-07:00

Are you a member of Facebook?

If so, click here to support the cause of the A.C. Green Youth Foundation today!

India

2009-04-03T05:14:00.000-07:00

by A.C. Green

Today I’m heading to Mumbai, India (formerly “Bombay”). I’m taking a trip with “NBA Cares” and will be doing a teaching clinic with the youth there. I am really looking forward to it, as I’ve never had the opportunity to visit India before. Mumbai is the largest city in India, and actually the most populated city in the world – 14 million! I hear it’s pretty warm there…better pack my shorts!

Reasons to wait...

2009-01-30T14:00:00.000-08:00

There are so many reasons to choose abstinence until marriage. In fact, a bunch of them are posted right here.

Why don't you pick your favorite one and leave a comment, letting us know why abstinence is YOUR decision.

More on funding

2009-01-29T06:34:00.000-08:00

Here's an article talking about the money Congress is suggesting we spend on STD prevention:

Again, read this blog - we can stop the spread of STDs for free!

Abstinence - good for the economy!

2009-01-28T07:42:00.000-08:00

There is a rumor out there that the new economic stimulus bill being proposed contains $335 million for STD prevention.

Well, if that's true, we have good news for the economy - the AC Green Youth Foundation has a fullproof method for avoiding STDs! Read about it here.

Turns out abstinence is not only good for your future, it's good for the economy!

Television programs linked to teen pregnancy

2008-11-03T05:53:00.000-08:00

A recent study proves what we've known all along... if you put garbage in, you get garbage out.

A study published in the November edition of the journal Pediatrics, found that "teens exposed to high levels of sexual content on television were twice as likely to be involved in a pregnancy in the following three years as teens with limited exposure."

Other highlights - or lowlights - from the article:

"The study...followed a 2004 study by some of the same scientists that indicated watching sexual content on TV can make teens more likely to have sex at earlier ages."
"Nearly 1 million young women between the ages of 15 and 19 become pregnant each year in the U.S., and they are more likely than other teens to drop out of high school and live in poverty."

The Good News
The good news - the study interviewed 2,003 boys and girls between the years of 2001 and 2004. (By the time the interviews in 2004, the age range was 15-20.) By the last interview, 744 youths shared they had engaged in sexual intercourse - 37%. For those of you keeping "score," that means 63% had not! That means 63% chose to look out for their dreams and goals, focusing on what they wanted MOST, over what they wanted for the MOMENT.

Related Content

The full story is here: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/27506234/

danger of pornography?

2008-10-25T07:20:00.000-07:00

I like what you are doing - teaching the youth about abstinence and sexual purity. However, there are a lot of kids out there who might be virgins but who are not sexually pure because of viewing pornography. What advice would you give to such youth.

Thanks for your question. I would tell them to be careful of things that contaminate you. There is a connection that runs through your heart, soul, and mind. You know the saying, "garbage in, garbage out"? Men and women are people, not objects, so we shouldn't train our hearts and minds to think of them as objects.

For more on how other people matter, read A.C.'s article here.

Q&A with AC Green

2008-10-06T07:57:00.000-07:00

Sporting News recently caught up with A.C. and asked him a few questions about today's NBA...here are his answers.

1. What current player do you wish you could have played with?
That would probably have to be Chris Paul. He's a fighter, I'm sure he's exciting to play with, and he shares the ball. That's a great combination of characteristics for a fun teammate.

2. How has the NBA changed since you were playing?
The NBA has become more global since I played. The league office has done an exceptional job of building the brand, and I love seeing the worldwide appeal that the league has generated for the game of basketball.

3. On a scale of 1-10, rate the quality of the play in the league today.
Probably a 7. There are a few exceptional, complete teams in the league right now. However, the majority fall in a middle category of being pretty good teams that need to learn the nuances of becoming a team-first unit as opposed to a team that revolves around the efforts of one or two individual players.

4. Who's your pick to win it all?
I think the team is going to be from the West this year, and the parade will likely happen in New Orleans or Los Angeles. If one of those teams don't produce, I think the Lisa Leslie / Candace Parker duo from the Sparks can probably get the job done.

5. Finish this sentence: The 19-year age minimum is...
A step in the right direction. Players have to be a little more mature to step into the world of the NBA, and professional sports in general. The older the better. With that said, I understand age does not automatically produce maturity. But a college experience, if a player takes advantage of it, can teach them a lot of the tools they will need in the NBA. If college isn't part of the path for some players, good old-fashioned life experiences can still greatly contribute to the maturation process.

6. What do you think of Josh Childress' decision to sign with a Euroleague team?
I think Josh Childress is a businessman. He is building the Childress brand as any smart, small business owner would do. I'm sure he carefully considered which route would be the best to achieve his strategic marketing goals.

7. Who's the best coach in the league today, and why?
Byron Scott. He has had a pattern of success in every journey he has taken; New Orleans is only the latest example. Obviously, the NBA took notice in crowing him Coach of the Year. Finally, he is the father of my god-daughter, London. (So I like the guy anyway!)

8. Give me five can't-miss future Hall of Famers from the league today.
Shaquille O'Neal. Kobe Bryant. Tim Duncan. Kevin Garnett. LeBron James.

9. Who's the league's best point guard?
Chris Paul, followed closely by Derek Fisher.

10. Finish this sentence: People say college basketball is more of a team game than the NBA. I'd like to tell them...
They're right. College basketball preaches a team-first system.

11. If you could have either of these two on your team right now, who would you choose: Kobe Bryant or LeBron James.
I coached LeBron at an NBA All-Star Rookie Challenge game and it was great having him on the team. Obviously, I won a Championship playing with Kobe. Even though both would be exceptionally exciting, I would say Kobe.

12. Same question: Chris Paul or Deron Williams?
Chris Paul. His style - and the Hornets style - is a great blend of basketball. It's fun to watch and to play. Deron is obviously an extremely talented player, and I guy I wouldn't mind going to battle with. But between the two, I have to pick Chris.

13. One more: Kevin Garnett or Tim Duncan?
Today, I would probably say Kevin Garnett. He is determined to accomplish what Tim has already accomplished - multiple championships. Both are complete players and bring their game every night. but I have to go with Kevin.

AC and Shawn Kemp!

2008-08-29T14:47:00.000-07:00

See A.C. Green and Shawn Kemp go at it again.

These NBA Legends participated in a 3BA Game recently. See it air Sunday night on Fox Sports Northwest on Sunday, 6 p.m. PST.

3BA on the loose

2008-07-22T15:49:00.000-07:00

AC is helping bring fast-paced action to the gym...

Welcome to 3BA, where hoops meets NASCAR
The idea is faster action, so each team has three players, the court is shorter, and the shot clock is 18 seconds

Friday, July 18, 2008
Geoffrey C. Arnold, The Oregonian Staff

A.C. Green worried that one of his players might "pop a lung" on the court. David Lucas said he might be "dead tired" before halftime.

The two were talking about participating in tonight's 3BA 3-on-3 professional basketball exhibition game at the Rose Garden.

The rules differ from those in an NBA game. The 3BA court is smaller than the regulation NBA court, and teams will have less time to shoot. The rules are designed to increase the pace, force teams to shoot quickly and score more.

Read the full article

AC talks about camp

2008-07-22T15:43:00.001-07:00

AC Green is a contributor to the Legends of Basketball blog - in a recent post, he had a lot to say about his leadership basketball camp:

This summer marks the 23rd year of the A.C. Green Basketball Camp. The camp is held at Concordia College in Portland. The campus is just five blocks away from where I grew up. I started the camp my rookie year in the NBA because I wanted to give back to my hometown. There was a need for an affordable basketball camp that teaches children the life skills to succeed in life and the proper fundamentals of basketball. It’s our goal to see them become responsible young adults. The camp consists of boys and girls ages 9 to14. A typical day starts at 8am to noon, and the next session is from 1pm to 4pm. The next camp runs July 28-Aug 1 in Los Angeles.

Read the full blog here.

The new site!

2008-07-15T09:13:00.000-07:00

Welcome to the new website. ClubAC.com and ACGreen.com are now one new, fantastic site, and we're excited!

Be sure to check out all the sections, search the blog, subscribe to new posts, and leave comments, and all the other fun stuff this site has to offer.

Have a great day.

Sex is a gift

2008-06-27T18:18:00.001-07:00

"We had two rules: we would not compromise our commitment to abstinence and we would not stop being best friends. We dated for more than four years before we got married. We are so glad we waited [until marriage].... Sex is a gift from God to be opened at the right time."

Walter

read his story

Be careful

2008-06-27T18:16:00.001-07:00

"Be careful with your innocence, guard it with everything within you. You can't understand now the cost of giving it away. Treasure your family. Hold on to your dreams. There will come a day when they will seem foolish. But they aren't. This world wants to steal your heart away and damage your precious innocence. But there's something more.... Be careful. Please, be careful."

I can't tell him

2008-06-27T17:55:00.000-07:00

I am engaged to be married next year, and I have been diagnosed with genital herpes. I haven't told my fiancé about the herpes and I'm not planning on doing so. My best friend knows about it, and she says that I should tell him. But she doesn't understand how hard it is. I'm afraid to tell him - I can't tell him."

How would her life be different if she had chosen abstinence? Would she have anything to worry about?

Who is "the one"

2008-06-27T13:53:00.001-07:00

How do i know when i find the "one."

Natasha, age 14

Thanks for your question. First of all, I gotta be direct with you - you have a LOT of time before you need to be worrying about relationships, particularly 'the one.'

I say that because there are better things for you to be considering right now. What are your dreams and goals in life? Do you have a plan for obtaining those goals? As we know, the decisions you make today directly impact your tomorrow. For instance, A.C. Green spent 16 seasons in the NBA. When he set his sights on being the best basketball player he could be, that took commitment and self-discipline. If he had never gone to practice in junior high, high school, and college, how successful would he have been?

Secondly, this is a great time for you to be concentrating on your growth and development as a person. What are the areas where you want to grow as a person? What hobbies and interests do you want to pursue?

When the time is right, that person will enter your life. Don't settle for less than the best. Someone who encourages you, and wants what is best for you. Someone who is pursuing healthy goals of their own. But until that time comes, focus on becoming the type of girl that will attract that type of man.

she's pressuring me

2008-06-26T17:48:00.000-07:00

This girl in my class wants to have sex with me and I tell her NO!! She keeps on telling me that. She shows signs to me what she wants to do to me. I tell her no, no, no, but she keeps on saying it. What should I do? What can I tell her about sex or what can I tell her?
Ambrose

Ambrose,

You are doing the right thing to tell her "No" - just the fact that she keeps pressuring you shows that she doesn't really care about your feelings. Be true to your commitment - here's some things you can tell her:

I have a lot of goals, and I'm not going to risk them for one night.

I don't want either of us to have to worry about STDs.

I'm not ready to be a parent.

I don't want a one-dimensional relationship.

I've made a commitment and I'm not willing to break it.

I'm worth waiting for.

There are so many benefits in waiting and so many reasons to say "No" to sex outside of marriage. As you know, abstinence until marriage is the only sure way to protect yourself physically. But even more, it's the only way to protect your heart and your dreams.

Abstinence Guy

Walter’s story

2008-06-26T17:16:00.000-07:00

I met my wife back in high school. She was a freshman and I was a junior. I remember my first words to her. She had a picture of Dallas Star Mike Modano kissing the Stanley Cup on her Speech book. But, from my angle, it looked like a guy kissing a skillet. With that, my first words to her were, "why is that guy kissing a skillet?"

Seeing that I was also a huge hockey fan, we became friends pretty quickly. We hit it off from the very beginning, not as boyfriend/girlfriend, but as best friends. We were as inseparable as Charlie Brown and Snoopy. We loved being best friends so much to the point that we did not even think about dating. We were, however, falling in a very deep love for each other.

It was not until a year and a half later that we started dating. We had two rules: we would not compromise our commitment to abstinence and we would not stop being best friends. We dated for more than four years before we got married. And, over those four years, our rules were not a hindrance, they were a help. Did we want to have sex? Of course, but we knew that we were not going to and we never put ourselves in a situation where that temptation would be a problem.

I married my human love of my life on June 19th, 2005. We picked that date because that day is the 6th year anniversary to when the Dallas Stars won the Stanley Cup. It has been magical ever since.

We are so glad we waited. Sex is not the reason that we got married. And, sex is not the reason that we smile at each other every waking moment of the day. We love each other, and we both love God very much. Sex is a gift from God to be opened at the right time. To us, sex is great not only because we love each other but because we waited until it was right time.

Note: Just a few hours after Walter sent this story, his wife called to tell him that he is going to be a daddy! Congratulations!

Taking charge

2008-06-20T18:06:00.000-07:00

"I know that abstinence is so important to me, because I feel that by doing this, I am being responsible and taking charge of my life. It's a hard decision, but I feel proud for the courage it takes me to keep it, and to know I have that courage. It's also a promise of love to my future husband. I hope he's waiting for me, because abstaining is such a symbol of control and responsibility-and showing that ability to love someone so much you can wait for them."

Courtney, age 15

Won't destroy a dream

2008-06-11T18:12:00.000-07:00

“I guess one thing that would keep me from premarital sex is this: I would not want any man to have had sex with the girl I plan to marry; therefore I would not want to destroy another man’s dream by being sexually involved with the girl he will someday marry.”

Now I know

2008-05-29T18:21:00.000-07:00

Sex was a game to him he was just looking at me as a fresh piece of meat and then after we had sex he told everyone that i was easy to get to. now i have learned that all sex does at this age is it gives you a broken heart and a bad reputation because no one is going to look back and say oh that girl was cool they're going to say there's that girl that slept with every guy in the school. so now i know sex is worth the wait~

don't want to lose him

2008-05-28T15:15:00.000-07:00

Hi, I had a question for you. I have this boyfriend and he is really sweet but I am scared. All my life when I found someone they left me or cheated on me and I am scared that he will do the same thing. What should I do? Please help me, I really love him and I don't want to lose him. Please help.

Angel, age 17

Angel,I'm sorry to hear how guys have treated you in the past. First thing you need to do is recognize that you deserve better! Second thing I would urge you to do is carefully consider a guy's character when you date him. Is he trustworthy, is he honest, does he put the needs of others before his own? Does he treat all women with respect?

However, I think there is a bigger issue here. You have to ask yourself - "how much do I love myself?" Understand I don't mean this in a selfish way. But are you looking forward toward your dreams and goals? Are you concentrating on becoming the woman you can be? It seems you may be looking outside for love and validation - you need to be able to find that in yourself. A relationship is not going to complete you.

When the time is right and that person does enter your life, focus on what's inside. It is so easy to focus on the physical. But what's inside is what drives the man. You said that your new boyfriend is really sweet, and I'm glad to hear that. Just remember, you deserve to be treated with respect - don't settle for less. Don't ever have sex to 'prove' your love. And also, remember that if he truly loves you, he will not ask you to do anything that could jeapordize your future and your dreams.

p.s. - check out the FAQs

Discipline

2008-05-14T10:31:00.000-07:00

by A.C. Green

Sort of sounds like a bad thing doesn’t it.

“Mom said I had to get a job this summer to learn self-discipline.”

“I got disciplined for being out late.”

Let’s take a look at discipline, and find out how important it really is to success. We talk more about discipline on another part of ClubAC, and it says there that Webster defines discipline as training that corrects, molds, or perfects the mental faculties or moral character. It is restraint exercised over one’s own impulses, emotions, or desires.

Basically, discipline means that you are master over yourself. It means that you have your thoughts and actions under control.

Think about NBA player Karl Malone for a moment. When I was playing – he was my opponent. I knew I had to come ready to work hard when we played the Jazz because Karl was master over his body. He had disciplined and trained his muscles and you could see (and feel!) the results of that. I needed to bring an equal amount of self-discipline to the court. In particular, I had to discipline my reaction to some of those elbows he threw around!

This is the point – it takes effort and commitment to instill discipline in yourself. Self-discipline does not go half-way and it doesn’t take shortcuts. It stays late after practice. It wakes up early and reviews the chapter one more time before the test.

Self-discipline starts when you know what you want to achieve, and you commit yourself to taking the necessary steps to get there. From that point forward, it is a simple matter of following the path.

Here’s an example:

GOAL: To graduate high school (on time!).
NECESSARY STEPS:

Attend class.
Pass my classes.
Don’t do anything to get suspended/expelled.

Pretty straightforward, isn’t it?

Now this is when discipline kicks into gear: Big test tomorrow. Big party tonight. If you need to do well on the test to pass, it might mean passing on the party. Keep your eye on the goal.

Good news is, it often isn’t even that difficult...
If you have been attending class and doing your homework, chances are you know most of the material. The teacher probably announces the test a week in advance – study during the week! Then maybe you can stop by the party, get home in time for a good night of sleep, and wake up early to review your notes…here’s your diploma!

Get the point? Discipline is ongoing – it doesn’t mean last-minute cramming, it means consistency. Consistently good decisions builds self-discipline, it builds habits that are easy to maintain.

Here’s the really good news…
Self-discipline breeds success. You must have discipline to reach a championship level in life. Discipline will preserve you. Accept discipline from others and develop self-discipline. One step at a time – those good patterns of thinking will become attitudes. Those attitudes will become your character. Your character will guide your decisions. Strong decisions will build a strong foundation for your life.

Start building.

i think about it all the time

2008-05-10T17:45:00.000-07:00

I want to have sex and feel like I will go crazy. I think about it all the time. So what do I do?

guy, 13

A.C. Green decided to answer this personally, so we'll step aside for his response!

There's an old saying that says: "As a man thinks, so he is."

I would advise you to guard what you watch, as well as what you listen to, because those thoughts have to enter you in some way.

However, the truth of the matter is that you are going to do what you really want to do. Because you think it's cool, fun, wild, or just to be like everyone else. Only thing I ask you is this: Be your own man! A leader...not a follower. You know abstinence is the right decision, or else you wouldn't be writing me. So do what you know is right, not what you feel might be cool.

AC

being a leader

2008-04-26T15:46:00.000-07:00

I have a question about to be a good leader. I want to be the best positive leader. But the down is that you will be made fun of if you are tring to be a positive leader. A positive leader in my High school is doing drugs. A postive leader to other kids in my school does drugs and gets drunk every weekend. So how do you become a good positive leader to people and tell them not to do the drugs and stuff?

DQ, 16

DQ,

Awesome question. First of all, let me point out an important fact. These people in your school that are doing drugs and getting drunk might be leaders to some, but they certainly aren't positive leaders.

A positive leader is someone who teaches you how to reach your goals, and encourages you to be your best. Just as important, a leader leads by example. If I encourage you to do well in school but I'm flunking three classes and don't care, how much weight does my advice carry? Probably not much! That's why we've all heard that actions speak louder than words. So my challenge to you is this: Continue making good decisions - one's that will help you reach your goals in life. There will always be peer pressure, and there may always be people who make fun of good leaders. But remember this, it's easy to do the wrong thing. It takes strength and discipline to do the right thing. Others will see your example and begin to follow.

Moms matter

2008-04-21T17:13:00.000-07:00

Moms matter to teen girls considering sex
Posted on CNN.com September 4, 2002

Excerpts from the story:

Teenage girls who have close relationships with their mothers wait longer to have sex for the first time

Girls are less likely to have sex when their moms strongly disapprove

Talking about birth control did not appear to have any effect on teens' sexual behavior

The study is based on the National Longitudinal Study of Adolescent Health, a massive federal investigation of teen behavior. This research examined interviews with 2,006 teens ages 14-15 who said they were virgins. The same teens were interviewed a year later, and 10.8 percent of the boys and 15.8 percent of the girls had had sex by the second interview.

Researchers at the University of Minnesota examined extensive interviews with their mothers -- fathers were not interviewed -- to try to determine what made the difference between those who became sexually active and those who stayed virgins. Mothers whose daughters were still virgins shared several qualities:

They strongly disapproved of their daughters having sex.

They were satisfied with their relationship with their daughters.

They frequently talked with the parents of their daughters' friends.

These mothers also more likely to have a college degree.

Other factors made no difference in teen sex, including how religious the mothers were, how often they talked about sex, how uncomfortable they were talking about sex and whether they recommended that their daughters use a specific kind of birth control.

When teens do realize that their mothers disapprove of sex, they are less likely to have it. In addition, younger teens are more likely to realize that their mothers' disapprove when they feel close to their moms.

"Parents and especially mothers should be aware of the role they play in influencing their adolescent daughter's sexual behaviors," researchers concluded. "Parents need to be clear about their values and then clearly articulate them to their children and adolescents."

should i drop him?

2008-04-12T17:50:00.000-07:00

Hi, I'm going out with this 23-yr old. He has no job right now, partly due to a unemployment problem in the area, and he has not yet gone to college. Still, he has high hopes for his future. It has become too hard to take our relationship too seriously because he is immature about things. I know that in time he may get his act together. Anyway, the point is that he and I would have an even better relationship if we would have met a while from now. Still, i can't bear to break up and wait it out beause i can't tak the risk of losing him. I'm not sure exactly what to do...because I miss being taken out on dates and being treated with more respect-yet at the same time, I am only 19 years old. Maybe I'm taking everything too seriously an need to loosen up and let time decide. I'm not sure what to do. Despite his set-backs, he is the best-looking guy I have ever gone out with, and I have never felt the way I feel when I am with him, the little time that it may be. Any advice on how I should deal with things? I have made more friends so I don't have to dwell on this, but even though he's always at his different friends' houses, he seems a little jealous. I am thoroughly confused and am convinced that I may never have guys figured out.

Thanks,

Nicole, age 19

Dear Nicole,

By the sound of your letter, I truly believe you know what to do. Confusion comes when your mind wavers between right and wrong. You already have half your problem solved.....you can see that this guy is going nowhere fast. The question is - do you want to go with him. I know he is attractive...but looks cannot bring you happiness. So you have a great looking guy on your arms, but the man has no job and no motivation to get one (believe me they are out there if he really wants to work, stop making excuses for him). We as woman always believe we will be the one who can change them...I've been there, done that! We can't!

Change has to come from them, their heart, they have to want to change because they want to be a man of character, they want to reach their goals. They will not change because you want them too...and if they do, it is only for a short time. "If you do not plan to succeed, you plan to fail!" Which brings me to you. What are you doing to succeed....what are your plans? Step away from worrying about him and your relationship with him and focus on your dreams and goals. Make a plan for your life and put it into action. Once you focus on your goals, this guy (and guys like him) will slowly begin to become less important in your life.

If you are in a sexual relationship with him, it is time to STOP! Because the bond your creating with him through sex is the chain that will keep you with him and keep you from becoming the woman you want to be. I know, I lived through it at your age. I was 19 ....and because I could not grasp what I am trying to tell you, I was a single mom before I turned twenty. It comes down to self-respect. You deserve the best. You attract what you are....be your best and you will attract the best. Abstinence...because you are worth it!

Abstinence Girl

Prom: A night to remember...

2008-04-05T13:09:00.000-07:00

...and a few things NOT to forget!

Prom night is fast approaching.

Guys might be gathering the nerve to ask that special girl. Girls might be trying to act relaxed as they wonder who will ask them. Limousine companies throughout the city wait for the calls to begin pouring in for reservations. Department stores are stocking the latest (and most expensive) evening wear, and the staff at tuxedo shops prepare to explain to countless young men that "those pants aren't supposed to be baggy!" Oh, what a night.

As you prepare for this year's prom, for that special "night to remember" - here's a few things you must not forget:

Girls:

Your date invited you to join him for this special evening. He chose to invest time and money - it was his decision. In response, you should treat him with kindness and thank him for what hopefully turns out to be a wonderful evening. Don't forget to tell him that he looks good in his tuxedo. After all, it might be the first time he's worn a tie that wasn't being used as a headband! But remember, you don't owe him anything! For more information, read why you don't owe sex to anyone.

Guys:

You invited a date to join you for this special evening. You knew prom would be a costly evening, yet you still chose to go. Your date is not responsible for "reimbursing" you, in any way. Your reward is spending the evening with her. She was kind enough to accept your invitation - don't make her regret that decision! Treat her with respect, compliment her on her dress and her hair. And for goodness sake - make sure you take a shower and comb your hair before you pick her up! By the way, if you think sex makes you a man...then you need to read this!

Other people matter

2008-04-04T10:30:00.000-07:00

by A.C. Green

How do you treat those around you? Are they doormats to be stepped on, or precious gifts to be treasured?

When I played basketball in high school, college, and the NBA, there was always one common denominator: I had teammates. And over the years, I learned something about the importance of those teammates. I couldn’t win without them! No matter how hard I played, there was no way I could win one-on-five. Other people are important.

You need teammates in life too. Other people can help pull you up when you are down, they can encourage you to do what’s right when you need support. (They can also pull you down if you pick the wrong friends – read about peer pressure here.)

Because people matter, it matters how you treat people. For example, if you are working on a class project in a group, everyone needs to do their part. You need to trust your classmates, and they need to trust you. How I chose to interact with them played a big part in how much they trusted me. If I was never willing to lend a helping hand off the court, or treat them with kindness or respect, how trustworthy would I be in the heat of battle?

If you are constantly asking your friends for favors, for money, or for their time, but are never willing to make sacrifices for their benefit, what message are you sending? Will they feel valued for the people they are, or simply feel used?

We all know the golden rule for a reason – it’s a good rule! Treat others how you want to be treated. Don’t always be looking for what you can get from others. Instead, focus on what you can give. It will make all the difference in your friendships. Even more importantly, it will make all the difference in you!

Action steps for this month:

Each week, try to be a blessing to someone. Do something for them without expecting anything in return.
Make a list of what you appreciate about your friends.

Time management

2008-03-21T10:27:00.000-07:00

by A.C. Green

Managing your time so it doesn’t manage you

“I’ve got way too much time on my hands.”

How often do you say this to yourself? Boy, if I could just find something to do with all this extra time.

Maybe you are in the fortunate position that you do have a lot of free time at the moment. All I can tell you is, I don’t remember the last time I had too much time on my hands.

In fact, it seems like I could usually use a few more hours in the day. Let me just give you a quick overview of my commitments:

I’m married
I have a few businesses
ACGreen.com
Speaking engagements

There’s just a few of them. It’s true that some of my responsibilities might be a bit different than yours, but I’m guessing you have a lot going on as well. School…work…sports…friends…boyfriend or girlfriend…school clubs…music… I get tired just thinking about it all!

All these commitments take time. How you manage that time is important, both now and in the future.

When I played in the NBA, it seemed like we were always traveling, practicing, playing a game, or sleeping. There was a shortage of free time during the season. But I still had responsibilities and priorities I needed to fit into my schedule. So I woke up at 5:00 a.m. I’m serious!

I disciplined myself to wake up so early because I knew that was time I could control. Sure, sometimes that meant going to sleep instead of watching TV late at night, or going out with my friends. But I knew what I wanted to accomplish and was determined to not let anything keep me from my goals.

So is anything keeping you from your goals? Do you make good use of your time? I’ve discovered some great ways to waste time: the mall, Xbox, and PlayStation are a few that come to mind. Hey, I know NBA Live is fun, BUT it can also burn a lot of hours!

So why’s that matter? Do you remember the last time you looked at a bad test score and wished you would have spent a little more time studying? Maybe If that Xbox would’ve been turned off just a little bit earlier…. Just remember, there is only so much time in a day – you need to use it wisely.

What is really important to you in life? Do you want to be a doctor, an artist, a teacher? All of these goals will take discipline. And they will also require good time management. That means that sometimes you will have to make a conscious decision to say “no” to something, simply because it will hinder your progress. It might not even be a bad thing you have to turn down.

Maybe some friends are staying up late to watch a movie, but you have an early practice. In order to give it your best in the morning, you may need to pass on the movie. Sure, that might be disappointing in the moment. But several months down the road, when you know you had your best season as a team…that sacrifice will be worth it.

I want to leave you with a couple questions to ask yourself:

What is most important to me? Is this reflected by the ways I spend my time?

What do I want to establish as a “time priority” for the next month? What sacrifices do I need to make in order to accomplish this goal?

Time is the only thing you can’t bank, borrow, or buy. So spend it wisely.

How do I move on?

2008-03-19T13:57:00.000-07:00

ok, there's this guy and we had sex and he was acting really mean to me afterwards and tellng everyone that i'm easy to get but i still have feelings for him. it's like he is always on my mind and after this happened it made me want to become abstinent but how do i get him out of my mind and move on?

Melody, age 14

Dear Melody,

Your story is one I hear a lot and have lived myself. We could gang up on the guy who put you in this situation, but the truth is the pain and shame that a girl feels from making the decision to have sex outside of marriage is caused by the choice they made. Honestly, it seems this choice often stems from low-self esteem.

Certainly there are going to be a lot of emotions toward this guy - sex is a very emotionally intimate act. But do not allow those emotions to fool you into returning to the situation. Think about it....he has sex with you, then speaks poorly of you and dumps you. Why would you want to even be within 10 feet of a guy like this?

My advice to you is this...know that you are very special. Set your standards on a man who will respect you and treat you the way you deserve...accept nothing less than a man with integrety and character. You attract what you are. I know, I have been in your shoes. Since I started practicing abstinence I have gained self-respect and confidence - it's affected my whole life. When men discover I practice abstinence one of two things happens...they walk away or they treat me with respect. Which kind of man would you want in your life....I know which one I want in mine. The one who walks away can keep walking, they are the ones who have no respect for themselves and are looking for only one thing...sex!

You cannot change the past. But you can change the future. Forgive yourself first. Next, the guy who hurt you. You might be knocked down for the moment, but pick yourself back up and keep moving. Find ways and people who can help you gain the self-esteem that is missing in your life. You are a gem....and worth so much more than you can imagine. Keep sharing your story, maybe someday your story can help another girl or even a guy (it happens to them, too) who has been hurt the same way you have.

P.s. - Check out some great ways to say no.

Morals and standards

2008-03-12T18:08:00.000-07:00

"I am sick and tired of everyone telling me i have to be a certain way and that there is nothing wrong. It seems to me that morals and standards aren't valued in society anymore. I'm tired of being told that if i don't do the things that everyone else does that I'm not cool and no one will like me. Let me just tell you ...I have as many friends as the next guy."

byggal, age 16

1 in 4 teen girls has sexually transmitted disease

2008-03-12T13:00:00.000-07:00

A recent story by the Associated Press finds that at least one in four teenage American girls has a sexually transmitted disease. The most common is HPV, the virus that causes cervical cancer (full story).

Some claim that "safe sex" is the answer, but we know there is only one thing that equals truly safe sex: abstinence.

You are worth waiting for...choose abstinence.

Make it easy

2008-03-09T18:15:00.000-07:00

"I'll tell you right now, you can make your life much easier by just controlling the places you go and the people you are with. Make a reputation for yourself... make people know that you are not going to have sex.... I have done that and let me tell you it makes all the difference."

Samantha, age 16

Boy meets girl

2008-03-07T22:17:00.000-08:00

Boy meets girl. Boy and girl find each other attractive and want to know each other better, so they set aside an evening. Do they talk and discuss? No. They spend ten dollars to sit side by side in a movie theater and stare at the screen.

On the screen: Boy meets girl. Boy and girl find each other attractive and want to know each other better, so they set aside an evening. Do they talk and discuss? No. They remove their clothes and have sex to the sound of violins. The movie has a happy ending.

After the movie, real-life boy and girl still want to get to know each other. On top of that, their hormones are roaring. They have been surrounded by a movie that said, "Sex is a great way to get to know someone." Their minds reel with flashes of skin, beautiful music and happy endings. They look deeply into each other's eyes and have sex in the car.

Boy thinks girl is easy. Boy dumps girl. Girl wonders what went wrong. (contributed by Josh McDowell)

Hollywood has glorified sex, and the depiction of sex Hollywood is giving is not accurate. It's not the reality. You probably won't see the phone call, weeks later, that says, "Yes, I'm pregnant." "Yes, I have a sexually transmitted disease."

If you loved them

2008-02-12T18:12:00.000-08:00

"If you loved someone, you wouldn't risk their being hurt through sex."

say no to him, yes to future!

2008-02-09T17:42:00.000-08:00

My boyfriend really wants me to give him my virginity, but I really want to wait. I have no one to talk to this about. I hope you will get this, I need to know there is someone out there who cares. Thanks and god bless,

Ashley, age 18

Dear Ashley,

First of all – congratulations on your commitment to abstinence. Don’t lose that focus! As far as your boyfriend, I can’t be so encouraging. It sounds like he is trying to pressure you to do something he KNOWS you don’t want to do. Is he playing the “if you love me” card yet? First of all, you should never have sex with someone to ‘prove’ your love. Real love means wanting what is best for the other person. Is your boyfriend looking out for your future goals and dreams…or his present desires? This may be something to closely examine as you determine the future of that relationship.

Now let’s get back to you. I can’t express how proud I am to hear that you are standing strong. There are so many freedoms that abstinence brings and as you continue to say no to sex outside of marriage, you will find yourself saying ‘yes’ to your future.

don't think about girls...

2008-02-07T17:41:00.000-08:00

I like A.C. and that's why I signed up. But I'm gay, and Ive known this for a long time. All my friends keep talking about girls, but I never thought about it. I got some girlfriends, but I don't think about girls and sex. But theres some guys and sometimes I just want to be close to them. No one knows Im gay, and I think my mom would kick me out of the house if she knew. What should I do?

D, age 15

Dear D,

15-year-olds are going through so many changes. Sexually they are trying to figure it all out. Unfortunately the media has made teenagers feel they need to get involved in sex right away, because – frankly, and unfortunately – sex sells. Do not believe the lie! I do not want to downplay what you are feeling about your sexuality...but as teenagers are developing into young adults, their bodies are growing and doing some strange things. I remember... I was a teenager once and thought I would never grow into my lips or ears, my emotions seemed to be scattered like peanut butter on bread. Give your body time to mature; your emotions time to level out. Try focusing on your goals and building up character traits and decision making skills that will allow you to reach your dreams and goals. Focus on developing into a man of character – a man who has self-discipline and exercises control by practicing abstinence until marriage; a man who reaches his dreams and becomes a role model to youth someday.

what if she isn't a virgin?

2008-02-06T10:35:00.000-08:00

I have chosen to remain abstinent until marriage. Should I only marry someone who is also a virgin?

Demarcus

Demarcus,

You should marry a person because of that person's heart. Regardless of anyone's past decisions, if your values are the same (they are now practicing abstinence and believe that sex is for marriage only), be open to marriage.

It's important that you don't get involved with someone who wants to pressure you. Make sure they are true to abstinence. In other words...stick to your standards and do not let anything (or anyone) sway you.

Also realize that if your partner was sexually active prior to marriage, they may be infected with an STD. Be sure they have the appropriate medical tests to rule out any incurable and/or fatal STDs.

they don't listen

2008-02-05T14:38:00.000-08:00

How do you convince someone who is not willing to hear you when you are trying to help them be smart about sex? They choose to go their own way.

Kristopher

Kristopher,

That’s a great question. There will often be people who don’t agree with your stand on abstinence. You might share with them about the health benefits of abstinence, the physical and emotional consequences of sex, and even the freedom that comes from practicing abstinence.

This may help your friends realize the many benefits of abstinence. They may wonder however, if it’s too late for them to start practicing abstinence. The answer is “NO!” It is never too late to start over.

There’s always the chance that someone may still not listen. You can’t control the decisions of others, but you can control your own. Be an example by the way you live.

p.s. - see the FAQs for some great info

he's hassling me

2008-02-03T17:35:00.000-08:00

I am 18 and not active sexually. My brother-in-law keeps on hassling me about it. I think it's really none of his business, he should be happy I have goals in my life and I don't want a relationship like the one he had with my sister (divorced).

Anonymous

Anonymous,

First of all, congratulations on staying committed to abstinence and being committed to reaching your goals in life.

As I've said before, there will often be people who don’t agree with your stand on abstinence. But don't let that keep you from doing what you know is best. It's easy to go along with peer pressure. It's hard to stand for what is right - but it's worth it.

And don't forget about the health benefits of abstinence, the physical and emotional consequences of sex, and the freedom that comes from practicing abstinence.

The decisions you make today will directly affect your tomorrow. Choose wisely.

when am i ready?

2008-02-02T17:33:00.000-08:00

People always tell me I need to wait until I'm ready to have sex. Well...how do I know when I'm ready?

Bethany, age 15

Bethany,

The best way to know you're ready is by waiting until marriage! Then you can enjoy a loving relationship with someone that has made a lifelong commitment to you. There are so many benefits to waiting - not only will you know you're disease free, you also will be free of the social, emotional and intellectual problems that sex outside of marriage can bring.

do i need a guy? (or girl)

2008-02-01T17:36:00.000-08:00

I have a really hard time not trying to tempt guys into doing things. most of the time it isnt really sexual but it is in a way. I know that it will eventually lead to other things, but usually i dont care, but later when i think of what could have happened it makes it different. I also feel like a need a guys attention all the time. My last boyfriend and I were together for 2 and a half years, but we split up. Its been 7 months now and i feel like a need that attention? what do i do to keep my mind off of it. It seems like everyone else has a boyfriend to hold or kiss, but I dont. I miss him, and his affection. What do I do?

Abby, age 16

Abby,

First of all - great question. Now let me ask you a question: do you feel that having a boyfriend (or guys - do you feel that having a girlfriend) makes you better as a person? If so, it sounds like an issue of self-esteem, you may be using guys (or girls) to try and validate you as a person. Abby, you need to realize your worth as an individual - there is no one just like you, you are one of a kind, unique, priceless. If you recognize this truth about yourself, you will soon realize that having a boyfriend (or girlfriend) isn't necessary for your happiness.

You said, "I know that it will eventually lead to other things, but usually I don't care." Again, recognize that you are important and special as an individual. Also realize the decisions you make today will impact your tomorrow. Concentrate on the goals and dreams you have and don't let someone knock you off on your track. If someone truly loves you - they love you for you, not for what you will do for them. Don't forget!

Lastly, I know it is nice to be dating someone, but recognize being currently single provides some neat opportunities. For instance, you can hang out with your friends whenever you want, and you have time for your other hobbies and interests too.

p.s. - check out real intimacy in the FAQ section!

conversations between people

2008-01-12T13:11:00.000-08:00

ClubAC.com staff was sitting around and thinking about the conversations guys have about girls. And the conversations they don’t have. And the conversations they might have if they were completely honest about the feelings they had inside. So we made one up! T.J. is our single guy that is really looking forward to getting married, but isn’t quite sure about waiting. C.E. is his fictional married friend.

ULTRA-Legal Disclaimer: This conversation never happened. These people don’t exist. The names have been changed to protect the people that don’t exist that had the conversation that never happened. Did we cover all our bases?

T.J.: C.E., I am getting really impatient waiting for my future wife…I just wish I knew when I am going to meet her, maybe it would make the waiting easier. C.E.: I understand T.J., I’ve been there! All I can tell you is it isn’t time yet. I was so anxious to meet “the one” too and it sometimes seemed like it was taking forever, but now I can look back and see that the timing was perfect! Any earlier would have been too soon. T.J.: It just seems like I missed a boat, something passed me by. C.E.: It didn’t.

T.J.: That’s all you got?!

C.E.: That’s all I need! Doesn’t matter if you believe me or not, it’s still true. You know you're my boy, I am not holding out on you. You need to trust me when I say that things happen for a reason, and God’s timing is exquisite. T.J.: It's hard to wait, and not to settle. C.E.: Let me put it this way – DON'T! T.J., I am just imagining the girl you are going to end up marrying. She is perfect for you. Just like with my wife, I can’t believe how well we work together – mentally, emotionally – she’s my best friend. It's crazy man, you will know exactly what I mean down the road. The other girls you dated, or tried to date, or thought about dating…it will be so clear why you didn't end up with any of them. I can’t wait to meet her either, because I just know that she will be worth the wait. My wife was. Don't settle T.J. – sure, you can 'play' now, but you'd pay later…. T.J.: I understand what you are saying, but I kind of have to take your word for it. C.E.: Dude, who are you talking to? It's me! I want what’s best for you, you know that. I am not going to steer you wrong on this.

T.J.: So what do I do while I’m waiting?

C.E.: Chill. Use this time. Enjoy it. We can hang out, you can work on the other goals that you have, and you can work on becoming the man you need to be. You know that one day you want to be married...what kind of man do you want to be when you’re married? Start taking steps that bring you closer to being that man. Are you moving forward in developing your character? Are you becoming more patient? Are you a better friend than you were one year ago? Before you ask the question "will you marry me" - you first need to ask yourself "would I marry ME?" You’ll meet her at the perfect time – it’s a promise.

it was no longer special

2008-01-05T17:09:00.000-08:00

If a person is sexually active before marriage, he has a mental attachment to past partners that takes away the uniqueness of sex with his lifelong mate. This is like the story about the young man who found a locket he liked at a jewelry store and gave it to his girlfriend. They later broke up, but he still liked that locket so much he began buying one to give to each successive girlfriend. When he finally found the girl he would marry, he went to look for a present for her. Sure enough, he got her the same locket. She was thrilled when she opened the box, but even though he liked the locket, it was no longer special. He had given the same gift to a lot of girls. (contributed by Josh McDowell)

I felt cheated

2007-12-15T18:04:00.000-08:00

I never realized that I felt cheated until my wedding night when we got to our hotel room. As I was getting ready for the most romantic evening of my life, I looked in the mirror and realized that I had already done this. What a letdown. What was there to be excited about? This was nothing new. It was as if all the life had been drained out of me."

Gentleness

2007-12-01T10:35:00.000-08:00

by A.C. Green

"Gentleness takes strength. Are you strong enough?"

Replace a Critical Attitude with Gentleness

Why can’t you be more like your brother?

Can’t you dress any better than that?

You drive me crazy when you do that!

Criticism hurts, doesn’t it.

Why do we criticize others so much? Is it possible that focusing on another person’s faults (whether real or perceived) is simply easier than shining the light on our own lives?

Acceptance
We all make mistakes. No matter how hard you try, you will make mistakes. Of course, it is important to learn from those mistakes, and to take steps to avoid those same mistakes in the future. Mistakes, handled correctly, can help us grow.

But what if it is someone else’s mistake? Do you allow people around you to be less than perfect? Do you accept their faults, just as you accept your own faults?

Accepting other people does not mean you let everyone do whatever they want to you. It doesn’t mean you “keep the peace” at all costs. It certainly doesn’t mean you turn away from what you know to be true and right.

But it DOES mean that you choose to accept less than perfection. It DOES mean that you treat others with gentleness. And it DOES mean that you judge yourself before judging someone else.

Judge yourself
There is a saying that talks about removing the plank from your eye before trying to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.

Picture that visual! You’re staggering around with a 3-foot long piece of wood coming out of your eye. Pretty gruesome isn’t it. And then imagine that you are walking over to your friend, telling him how he needs to get that tiny little speck out of his eye, because it is messing up his life! First of all, he is probably dodging back and forth to avoid the tree branch you’re swinging around. What’s more, he’s thinking you’re crazy telling him to get a speck out of his eye, when you are walking around with enough wood to start a bonfire.

Here’s the point: When you feel the urge to criticize someone for not measuring up to YOUR standards… first take some time and examine yourself. Deal first with what needs to change in your heart, and then go to your friend with gentleness and a desire to help, not hurt. Use your words to build up those around you, not tear them down.

Gentleness takes strength. Are you strong enough?

will he use me too?

2007-11-21T18:07:00.000-08:00

Hey , Thanks for the advice! I really like this guy but I don't want to be used and talked about! Do you know how some guys will be like 'oh yeah I wouldn't do that' (use a girl) and then talk about her? Well if he's done it to another girl does that mean he'll use me too?

Danice, age 14

Danica,

Thanks for writing again...to steal a phrase from my answer to your last question: "Simply put, that comes down to an issue of character. Specifically, I would question a guy’s integrity and trustworthiness if he is consistently giving mixed messages."

Here's the deal Danica. If a guy has made a habit of using girls, there is a very good chance he will do it again. Yes, people can change! BUT - if he consistently uses girls, you need to understand it's likely he is using you. And if he is using you to get what he wants - that is not real love, and he's not a real man.

I don't mean to be harsh, but you need to date someone who cares about you for who you are. Someone who will consider your needs above their desires. Someone with strong character.

Dependability

2007-10-11T10:29:00.000-07:00

by A.C. Green

You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things.

This saying illustrates the importance of following through on your commitments. It not only displays integrity and trustworthiness, it also will lead to bigger and better opportunities.

A perfect example occurs on the basketball court. Time spent in practice is far more valuable than you might believe. Not only is it an excellent time to develop your skills, it also provides the opportunity to demonstrate dependability. If you give 100% on the practice court, when there are no fans and no cheerleaders and no scoreboard, it demonstrates a commitment to the “small” (but vitally important) thing of practice. This discipline will likely instill confidence in your coach for a “larger” thing – playing time!

Your job is another place where you can prove yourself dependable. Let’s say you get a job at a newspaper. You might start out doing something that seems insignificant, like fact-checking all the stories before they go to print. It’s not necessarily very exciting. But if you demonstrate a commitment to excellence in that small task, your boss will begin to take notice. Perhaps soon you will be helping edit major stories, or maybe even writing your own features.

Don’t forget: faithfulness in the small things leads to more significant opportunities. It opens up opportunities because people know you can be trusted. It shows reliability, and a commitment to follow through.

Dependability doesn’t mean you will achieve perfection. I promise you that you will make mistakes – we all do! Dependability means you will get up and keep going. You will learn from your mistakes and strive to accomplish what you set out to do.

If you want to be successful, you must be dependable!

friendship is key

2007-10-01T15:09:00.000-07:00

hey, I really need advice last year a friend threw a huge party, and a guy came up to me I knew him from school and he came and hugged me I was like "thats cool, i guess!"

I moved a couple of weeks after that and everyone was sad! I move back over the summer, looking wayyyyyyy different and people trip!

School starts and all the guys want to know me and the second day of school I had 7 guys ask me out , i was flattered but not interested! I have gym with the same guy frome the party. We became really good friends and still are, but that's where the problem lies at - we are such good friends, we like each other more than that! We've kissed but nothing other than that! One of the gym coaches stops us and says "wow! you guys have been together for a long time!" we walk off smiling at one another. We talk everyday and we've talked about dating before.

Danica, age 14

Danica,

I think that is great that you have formed a strong friendship. Make sure that is always the focus of the relationship. If you both really care about each other, you will want what is best for each other - and that is a great place to be!

He says one thing but...

2007-09-30T14:02:00.000-07:00

Why do some guys act one way but mean another? I was dating this guy for awhile and we had sex , but he wasnt the one that broke off our relationship,it was me does that mean that I have a problem?

Danica, 14

Dear Danica,

It sounds like you are asking why some guys don't do what they say they will, or act how they say they will. Or why do they say one thing to you, but something completely different to others. Simply put, that comes down to an issue of character. Specifically, I would question a guy’s integrity and trustworthiness if he is consistently giving mixed messages.

I think it is wise that you are not in that relationship anymore, particularly since sex was part of the equation. Abstinence is definitely the way to go – it brings freedom from a lot of possible consequence. Also, practicing abstinence allows you to focus on the social and emotional aspects of the relationship. Please realize it is NEVER too late to choose abstinence. Even if you have had sex in the past, you can always start over.

sleeping in the same bed

2007-09-15T13:51:00.000-07:00

My friend and her boyfriend are starting to sleep in the same bed together now.....they are not having sex just sleeping in the same bed...is that ok?

Melissa, age 15

Melissa,

As I'm sure you know, the decisions we make today directly impact our tomorrow. I would urge your friend to carefully consider her actions and the motives behind them. Obviously, ClubAC talks all about the importance of good decisions and abstinence. Consider the fact that abstinence allows you to concentrate on your future. There are some negative consequences from premarital sex that you don't even have to think about if you are abstinent. That brings great freedom!

For the sake of argument, I'll assume your friend wants to remain a virgin but just wants to 'sleep' with her boyfriend. We'll even give him the benefit of the doubt on that (but believe me, there is doubt!). WHY would she put herself in a situation where a mistake could be incredibly costly, even deadly, to her future? If you play with fire...well, you know the rest!

We talk a lot about character on the site. Here's some traits that I think are relavent to this situation. Your friend might want to think about these:

Discretion vs. Simplemindedness
Recognizing and avoiding words, actions, and attitudes that could bring undesirable consequences.

Virtue vs. Impurity
The moral excellence evident in my life as I consistently do what is right.

Wisdom vs. Foolishness
Seeing and responding to life situations from a perspective that transcends my current circumstances.

do guys support abstinence?

2007-08-15T18:10:00.000-07:00

I am a virgin and I totally promote abstinence, but honestly I find it so hard to find young guys who are promoters of abstinence. How come?

Sherell, age 18

Dear Sherell,

Congratulations on being committed to abstinence! You are making the right choice and I am confident that this will help you to focus on and achieve your goals.

As far as young guys who promote abstinence - they are out there, believe me. Sometimes they might not be very outspoken about it, thinking that society values 'players' more. Just like some women think they have to disrespect themselves if they want to get dates. You and I know that is a lie. Continue to develop your strength of character and know that there are many men (real men!) out there looking for a woman just like you.

For now, here are some stories that will hopefully be an encouragement to you.

Todd Fuller chooses abstinence
Why AC chose abstinence
Abstinence Guy talks about abstinence

Setting goals

2007-08-01T10:26:00.000-07:00

by A.C. Green

"Set goals. Take practical steps to reach each goal - little steps of faith, courage and boldness."

The new school year is quickly approaching. Some of you may have even begun already. With that in mind, I have a pop quiz for you, with only two questions.

1. How do you know if you are heading where you want to go?
2. How can you build confidence?

There is one answer for both questions: set goals for yourself. There is a reason that a race has a starting point and a finish line. It lets you know where to begin and end the race. Setting a goal accomplishes the same purpose. A goal for a basketball player might be to make 10 free throws in a row. Establishing this mark as a goal gives you something to “shoot” for (pun intended!); more specifically, it highlights an area where you see room for improvement.

Once you have identified a goal, you can set steps to reach that goal. Perhaps this basketball player is only able to make three free throws in a row when she first sets her goal. The first step might be improving to five in a row within 10 days. Reaching a goal doesn’t always take enormous leaps of progress, it may simply require small, but determined, steps.

Moving at a steady pace toward a goal also builds confidence. Learning to do something that you couldn’t do before is an incredible experience. Seeing the tangible results of your work toward a specific goal gives you the confidence to continue moving forward. Or, put plainly: Growth promotes further growth.

So what are your goals for this year? Would you like to get better grades? Participate in the school play? Try out for a music group or sports team? Write down your goals for the year, and figure out the steps you can take to reach those goals.

Ruined

2007-06-27T18:05:00.000-07:00

"I'm thirteen and I've just ruined my life. I thought Mike really loved me, but last night we had sex for the first time and this morning he told my girl friend that he didn't want to see me any more. I thought giving Mike what he wanted would make him happy and he'd love me more."

Don't settle

2007-05-11T22:19:00.000-07:00

"When we experience disappointment we quickly run to the nearest rationalization to purchase a protective armor, so as to never let disappointment hurt us again. We stop living for something beautiful and start accepting something mediocre.

"In romance, we stop living for the 'ride off into the sunset' endings, and start settling for 'jerks-that-are-interested-in-only-one-thing' and flirts that only 'want to feel special for a night.'"

It can be done

2007-04-29T18:16:00.000-07:00

Dear Mr. Green- Thank you for being a great witness and living what you teach. I really admire the stand you took on abstinence. As a 26 year-old Christian virgin, it isn't easy, but it is nice to know I'm not alone. I'm sure you faced much greater challenges, so I know the temptations I encounter can be overcome.

I Beg to Differ: Part II

2007-04-17T11:10:00.000-07:00

I Beg to Differ: Abstinence Education Works (part 2 - 4.17.2007)
To: Arthur Caplan, Director of the Center for Bioethics, University of Pennsylvania
From: A.C. Green, President, A.C. Green Youth Foundation (www.acgreen.com)

Arthur,
I read your recent commentary on abstinence education (http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/18136717), and I must admit, I was very disappointed.

"So what," you may say, wondering why you should listen to a retired NBA player with no Ph.D. I suppose that’s a fair question. But as the founder of a national abstinence organization, and as a husband who married his wife as a virgin (at the age of 38), I ask that you thoughtfully consider my response.

The opinions you put forth may be popular in academia; however, history has certainly taught us that popular ideas are often wrong. Therefore, I think we can agree that the evidence – and the truth – should dictate our conclusion.

You refer to a study that tracked four elementary and middle school programs. Considering that approximately 700 abstinence programs receive federal funding, it can hardly be considered a comprehensive study.

A few other interesting tidbits that you didn’t mention about the programs reviewed:

the evaluation begin in 1999
all four of those programs have since been revised and improved
they have no high school component

Most of us could easily determine – even without a doctorate degree – that sex education is probably most effective when it continues into the high school years of students.

It seems clear that you have placed a great deal of significance on this one study. I wonder if you would be willing to place equal importance on the more than 20 other studies that show abstinence programs are making a positive difference in the lives of youth?

Arthur, the title of your article reads, “Blind faith on sex-ed approach puts kids at risk.”

I couldn’t agree more! Let’s examine the facts about sex.

Medicine tells us that sexually transmitted disease is avoided by having one partner for life. Social science tells us that the earlier a teenage girl begins sexual activity the more likely she is to suffer from increased rates of infection with sexually transmitted diseases, increased rates of out-of-wedlock pregnancy and birth, increased rates of single parenthood, decreased marital stability, increased maternal and child poverty, increased abortion, increased depression, and decreased adult happiness (Heritage Foundation). And history tells us that abstinence used to be expected. According to the National Survey of Family Growth, abstinence was the norm among unmarried American teenage girls at least until 1982. Is that when we started telling ourselves it wasn’t realistic?

In a previous article, you touted the statistic that 45 percent of U.S. teens have had sex by the time they reach 18. Simple subtraction tells me that means 55 percent have not.

Our kids are begging for more information on abstinence. A survey of 1,000 girls conducted by Emory University found that of a dozen possible sex education topics, the most popular (chosen by 84 percent of the respondents) was more information on how to say "no" to a boyfriend's requests for sex without losing the boyfriend. Among sexually active teens, 8 out of 10 girls and 6 out of 10 boys say that they wish they had waited to have sex. Parents also weigh in on the side of abstinence. According to the Heritage Foundation, approximately 85 percent of parents believe that teaching about abstinence should be emphasized as much as, or more than, teaching about contraception. Only 8 percent believe that promoting contraception is more important than abstinence.

You and I certainly agree that STDs are spreading at an alarming rate. That’s not all. Except for a pause in the early 1980s, pregnancy rates for 15-19 year olds have risen over the last 25 years to the present high of 111 pregnancies for every thousand girls. This is not due to a lack of knowledge about contraception and “safe” sex! The U.S. Food and Drug Administration found that in typical use for just ONE YEAR, condoms failed 14% of the time in preventing pregnancy. What’s more, there is not sufficient evidence that condoms protect against the spread of some STDs, including the human papilloma virus (HPV). HPV is not only incurable, it is also the fastest spreading STD in America and has consistently been linked to cervical cancer.

You argue against the effectiveness of abstinence, yet it is 100% reliable. You say we can’t expect teenagers to be abstinent, yet I made it through adolescence (and 16 NBA seasons!) unscathed. My Foundation has worked with many young men and women who have chosen abstinence. Others have recommitted themselves to abstinence after experiencing firsthand the pain that results from sex outside of marriage.

You claim that this one study shows abstinence programs are ineffective, and yet there are currently dozens of evaluations showing that abstinence education is effective in reducing teen sexual activity.

You say that abstinence education doesn’t make a difference, and yet, according to the National Longitudinal Study of Adolescent Health, young women who take a virginity pledge are approximately 40 percent less likely to have a child out-of-wedlock when compared to similar young women who do not make pledges.

You imply that abstinence programs fail to discuss STDs and contraception. Not only do abstinence programs address these topics, they do so accurately, explaining the truth about so-called “safe sex” and helping teens understand that their decisions have consequences.

You bemoan the money spent on abstinence education, but according to the Heritage Foundation, the government spends $12 to promote contraceptives for every $1 spent on abstinence.

Simply put, Arthur, you are wrong. Abstinence until marriage is the best decision physically, emotionally, socially and intellectually. That is the truth. To justify your viewpoint by suggesting kids can’t choose to be abstinent is to portray our children as little more than animals with uncontrollable urges. Boys and girls who can’t learn to choose the best for their future. Perhaps that is how you see America. But I see the young men and women in this country as children with dreams, with unlimited potential, and with choices to make.

In fact, we all have a choice to make. I choose the truth.

A.C. Green established the A.C. Green Youth Foundation in 1989 (www.acgreen.com), with the main focus on sexual abstinence education. The Foundation's mission is to help young people build self-esteem and character, and learn moral and ethical principles which will help them make responsible decisions. A.C. currently owns the NBA Iron Man title, having played in 1,192 straight games during his 16 year career.

Statistics taken from:
Heritage Foundation: http://www.heritage.org/Research/Welfare/wm461.cfm
ClubAC.com: http://www.acgreen.com/abstinence/statistics.html
A.C. Green’s Game Plan abstinence workbook
Family Research Council: http://www.frc.org/get.cfm?i=WU07D09

If she had waited

2007-04-15T18:13:00.000-07:00

"Then at age, 15, one of my friends got pregnant while engaging in so-called "safe" sex with her boyfriend.

"I saw my friend transform from a college-bound, carefree teenager to a single mother living from one welfare check to the next. Today, my friend can barely make ends meet, and her life is filled with regrets. 'I love my little girl,' she told me. 'But I wonder what my life would be like today if I had waited.'"

Mary-Louise Kurey, Miss Wisconsin 1999
(Kurey testified before the Subcommittee of Human Resources of the Ways and Means Committee on the effectiveness of abstinence education programs nationwide.)

Moving forward in a New Year

2007-01-05T19:36:00.000-08:00

by A.C. Green

"We can’t change the past, but we can do everything about the present."

Last year I wrote to you about New Beginnings, but this year I want you to reflect on the past.

Think about the past year, and ask yourself these questions:

Have I moved closer to my goals, or farther away?
Have I developed more traits that improve my character?
Do my friendships have more depth than they did a year ago?

In short, take stock of how are you doing as a person.

As I’ve said many times, we can’t change the past, but we can do everything about the present. At times, it is helpful to look back and evaluate past decisions, and learn from the consequences – both positive and negative.

So here is my challenge to you. List 5-10 things from the past year that make you proud. It could be accomplishments, friendships, grades… anything. And then also list 5-10 accomplishments or characteristics you would like to focus on in the next year. It might even be helpful to ask family members or friends who know you well, “Where do you see areas that I need to grow as a person?”

It isn’t always easy to develop your character and pursue your goals, but 100 times out of 100, it will be beneficial!

Please feel free to drop us a line and let us know what you are planning for the next year – we want to cheer you on to victory!

One week from today...

2006-10-28T13:02:00.000-07:00

by Abstinence Guy

One week from today, I am getting married!

And one week from today, I will be able to offer my wife something I have never given to anyone – my virginity.

We all know that A.C. Green chose abstinence until marriage. He told us why:

I wanted to take control of my future.

He told us it wasn’t easy:

It isn’t easy. It wasn't a popular decision then, just like it can be an unpopular decision now. It doesn't always make me more friends.

He says it got easier:

But every single day I say 'yes' to abstinence, it becomes that much easier. If you make a decision, and you practice it, that practice turns into a habit and the habit becomes a lifestyle.

A.C. has been a role model to so many people, myself included. I had already decided to be abstinent until marriage before I met A.C., but he helped show me how to remain committed to my future wife, as well as to my goals and dreams.

And he was right, it isn’t always easy. My future wife is the most beautiful woman I have ever known (inside and out). She says I’m biased, but I’m telling you, she is amazing. Sometimes it is hard to remember to choose what is best – abstinence until marriage.

But she is also my best friend. And when I think about what is best not just for me, but also for my best friend, it is so much easier to wait. Because she is my best friend, she supports me. We’re in this together, and she is also saving herself for me and protecting our future together. That’s teamwork, and it’s wonderful!

You may be reading this and saying, but I’ve already made a mistake. It’s too late. NEVER! It is never too late to choose abstinence; it is never too late to say, I’m going to make a change and from this point forward I am waiting! Do it for yourself, and for your future spouse. They are worth waiting for…and so are you.

abstinence will profit me

2006-10-14T14:48:00.000-07:00

"I feel that is very important to me that I keep my virginity, it means a lot to me to keep myself and give myself to someone that will be equally yoked with me. In these days and times, there is no telling what kind of diseases and STDs are out there in this sinful world. I thank God that he has helped me to be able to keep myself and I pray that he continues to keep me while through the year I have left at home and in high school. I know the pressure is even stronger in college, but with God's help and my right motivation, I know that I can keep myself until God puts that loving, beautiful, and equally yoked woman into my presence. This journey is not an easy task, but in the long-run I know that abstinence will profit me in folds. I do get picked on for being a virgin because the opportunity is there but do and will continue to turn my head. Always keep me in your prayers so that I may grow stronger and rooted in the Lord!"

Mazaratti, age 14

That's an interesting perspective!

Just for her

2006-07-12T13:14:00.000-07:00

"I'm waiting to have sex because I want my wife to know how special she is to me. She's going to be the only one, and she will know I waited just for her. That's love."

HPV virus not stopped by condoms

2006-06-26T13:01:00.000-07:00

Study: Even with 100 % Condom Use 30% Still Contract Potentially Deadly HPV Virus
By Gudrun Schultz
LifeSite News

SEATTLE, Washington, June 27, 2006 (LifeSiteNews.com) - A new study on condom effectiveness in protecting against the cancer-causing human papilloma virus has shown a discrediting 30% failure rate. The report, however, is being praised as a breakthrough for its claim that condom use offers “significant” protection against the virus.

The Illinois Family Institute criticized news reports of the study as misleading and inaccurate, saying the 30 per cent failure rate was far more important information than the limited success of the study.

“In fact, the study reports that 12 out of 42 women whose partners always used condoms did get HPV. Thus, 28.5% of the women got HPV even with 100% condom use,” said William Beckman, executive director of Illinois Right to Life Committee.

Read the full story here.

What's so important about character?

2006-05-23T14:41:00.000-07:00

Choosing abstinence is about making good decisions.

Making good decisions is all about character.

It's been said that character is who you are when you're alone. In other words, who you are alone reveals a bit of your true self.

Something else that's important to know about character: you can always grow and change for the better! We all make mistakes - choosing to learn from those mistakes can help you build strong character.

Learn about discipline, self-control and perseverance. Also, be sure to check out our full list of character traits on the left!

Character Traits A-C

2006-05-15T17:43:00.000-07:00

Alertness vs. Carelessness
Being aware of what is taking place around me so I can have the right responses.

Attentiveness vs. Distraction
Showing the worth of a person or task by giving my undivided concentration.

Availability vs. Self-centeredness
Making my own schedule and priorities secondary to the wishes of those I serve.

Benevolence vs. Selfishness
Giving to others' basic needs without having as my motive personal reward.

Boldness vs. Fearfulness
Confidence that what I have to say or due is true, right, and just.

Cautiousness vs. Rashness
Knowing how important right timing is in accomplishing right actions.

Compassion vs. Indifference
Investing whatever is necessary to heal the hurts of others.

Contentment vs. Covetousness
Realizing that true happiness does not depend on material conditions.

Creativity vs. Underachievement
Approaching a need, a task, or an idea from a new perspective.

(contributed by Character First)